*Insert profound title here*


I heard of the shooting at Ft. Hood while I was at work yesterday. I had taken a break to just get away from the madness in clinic taking care of patients  for a minute and relax.
I didn’t get what I was looking for- as I heard announcer recapping “for those that haven’t heard“(in a tone that denoted if we hadn’t heard we were either unpatriotic or idiots watching reality TV on another channel.)
He was in the middle telling us when the spokesperson for Ft. Hood came out to give an update. At this point it was unclear who the shooter was, why it happened or even how many- this was early on in the day.
As the reporters started asking deluge of anticipated questions the (General?) stated-a little frustrated- that he was there to just update on the status/number of injured or fallen soldiers not to speculate or guess at anything. He was there to give us facts.

I prayed for the victims, I prayed for the families, I prayed for the men and women still there keeping everyone safe- and I prayed for the news reporters that they NOT sensationalize this. To report true news- not conjectures and bluster to get ratings.

Fast forward to this morning when I turn on the channel to see the shooter (I refuse to name him in this blog) in a mundane activity at the gas station from survalence video. He is dressed up in religious attire, that he is free to wear in this country- because it is his civil liberty. His freedom. What we Americans believe in. We have been taught to be tolerant, to not racial profile, to not JUDGE based on religion. No mater how extreme or completely incongruent to fundamental beliefs of America. Our America. My beloved America. Oh what a tangled web this wove in this situation.

This world is a big old place- we ALL have many choices on where to live. Some of us are born here, some get stationed, some purposefully move here. All for a different reason, yet the same. This is America- we believe in freedom.
Right?
My belief is shaken. How can someone who had issues in medical school with patients- in the form of complaints, and disciplinary actions practice medicine without a further mental exam.  How could Someone who was supposedly known for extremist beliefs be in our military? How could they have a person with questionable mental health just keep on doing his job? How could they let him keep on doing his job while they were investigating him for very UN-American like activities?

I honestly don’t care that he didn’t want to go Afghanistan. You know what? You are aware of that possibility before you EVER sign on the final dotted line in the US MILITARY!!!! YOU CHOSE IT!!
If his religious convictions were stopping him from going over there….why the fuck was he in our military? Why was this fact not vetted? Oh- wait it was…it was just ignored.
Why? Go with me here b/c you might not see my train of thought…..this is government healthcare.
Yes people. The government wants hard workers in the medical field. They want to ‘help’ them. How much you wanna wager that most/all off his school was paid for with military reimbursements? This un-gentleman was a warm body filling a position.
He was a psychiatrist- very highly needed in the military…yet, so few want to do that kind of work. Where do they get good doctors to do this low pay, thankless job- where they might get deployed to a war zone?? The get ones that just don’t do quite well enough to fly in the “real world’.  Before you all start sending me hate comments- I have worked in government healthcare and I KNOW how it works. I have seen the mistreatment of our Vets. The men and women that gave their lives, health and mental stability for us. For you. For this fuck stick that shot and killed 12 people.  I have worked 2 different government-run hospitals- and they both pretty much sucked. (people were awesome- it was the system.)
hummm…I know where you SHOULDN’T get these doctors. You shouldn’t be so PC about it. Check everything and anything about them. If you are in our military I see nothing wrong with a full background check and full cavity search.  I hope the big government sits up and realizes this is more than just a waky man who infiltrated the base in the name of Allah. This is more than a (few) loose cannons.
We HAVE to look at how it happened in the first place.

I know political correctness, and religious tolerance and don’t step on the spiders has been crammed down our throat for so long. We have started cow-toeing to whatever stands up and threatens us b/c we are worried about being called out as un-American. WHAT?
Let me tell you about an American. Let me tell you about MY America.
I watched Apollo 13 last night. While they were waiting for the 3 minutes during re-entry burn to be up- everyone was huddled around the TVs. Everyone was crying. Not just the astronauts families- random people on the street. The ticker in NYC was saying “Pray for the Astronauts”.
There was announcement from the Senate and the House to urge each and every American to Pray for them- for their safe return. The was footage of people at the Wailing Wall sending up prayers, there was also footage of the pope standing up and giving a praying session. It was world wide- the compassion and hope.
Do you see this happening now? The House and the Senate urging all americans to pray? HAHA
See how far we have fallen?
Even if there were agnostics out there thinking “Please don’t die, please don’t die, please come back to Earth OK”- I think that positive energy helps. I don’t think prayers are the ONLY thing that helps. HECK NO!
What I think helps is the bonding as a people towards one good and focused goal. I personally believe in God, but if a non believer/agnostic came up to me and “I am thinking about you”. I know that is THEIR way of trying to use their thoughts and love into helping me through my rough time. It means just as much to me as someone saying they are praying for me. I feel God hears that persons good thoughts towards me- even if it isn’t a prayer. 

Besides- good thoughts never hurt anyone right? Why can’t we just have MORE OF THEM!??!?!

Apollo 13 had a million in one chance to make it home to us then. It would probably have much better odds now with all the safety backup stuff they have built-but I am inclined to think that a crew today would have a billion in one chance of making it home. Why? Well, I shall tell you!

That bonding has been broken. Why are we letting it happen? Our freedoms are slowly getting taken away from us little by little- yet we are made to think we have no other choice. We can’t pray in public- you get fired for wearing a pin that says God Bless America-we can’t smoke in public-we can’t  buy the insurance we need-it is dictated to us when to retired….Our freedoms are slowly dimming…we can still see them through an opaque film, so we have the illusion they are there and intact. What we don’t see are the hundreds of  holes seared through it causing it to pull apart.
I am so sad about the entire state of our nation- and of my fellow Americans.

I will NOT apologize for being pissed off that someone who was supposed to protect this country, and our freedom- specifically and coldly took it away from so many.
I will NOT apologize for my judgment on why he did it. If someone yelled “Heil Hitler” before killing a dozen people there would be none of this “We are not going to jump to conclusions” bullshit that is coming from that big hill up north. I am past conclusions.  1+1+=2  ….1+1 does not equal “possibly a digit in the regular numerical sense, but a roman numeral has not been ruled out yet.”

I am sorry if I have offended anyone- I do not mean to. I love all my friends (even you un-american ones. 🙂 ). I just had to get this out there before I exploded.

My heart is just so heavy now. I just want to tell people like him….This world is a huge place. If you don’t like it- leave. We will all be happier.

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2 responses to “*Insert profound title here*

  1. I agree with you on a lot of what you say. My husband wants to write a book that addresses many of the problems you mention.

  2. I hear you. Well said.

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