Squeeky Clean…ram-ambienbling

My face that is. I had a kick ass facial today. I have always suffered from acne- and it hormonal. When I am on BCPs my skin is beautiful- I remember there was about two years I didn’t have one pimple. Anywhere. It was beautiful. I felt great. I didn’t wear much make up.

Now is another story all together. Blackheads from hell. Small pimples/white head that don’t pop….if they do I have a nervous habit of picking at scabs. I know- horrible. I get the big cystic zits around my period. You know the kind- down on your neck on the edge of your hairline. Ugh. I hate it. I also hate that I have acne, and I am trying to fight wrinkles. WTF.

I have tried kinerase, ddf, dr. Wexler, origins, la roche-posay, and many many other cures from Sephora (um, I might be a little turned on thinking about sephora. LOL!!!)

Nothing seems to work. I have smooth skin, but still have blackheads. Then my black heads get better only to have my face breakout….then my face just freaks out and is all red and flakey.

I cried uncle the other day and booked myself a facial.

Oh was it worth every 60 bucks.  The gave me wine whilst I waited (SCORE!)

Then we did the warm rice roll under the neck, pillow under the legs, heated chair….face steamer to open pores. aaaaahhhh…..so relaxing. Nice little face massage while cleansing. aaaaahhh….then

I am thinking”this is so relaxing, I could do this once a week! wha- ugh- mph—-” It felt like she was doing cone biopsies on my effin’ face!

Seriously- I thought minor (at least) surgery was going on up there…and she was just chit chatting- so blase. I can tolerate pain okay in situations like this- my pride commands me to. I will NEVER be a whiney patient. (that is the ER nurse in me…Iwill never whine. Or ask for a cup of coffee in the ER. ever. EVER)

I just laid there and prayed it would be over soon b/c every time she punched/pulled another part of my face off my heart literally stopped. I think I was holding my breath so deeply that I was slowing my heart down. LOL! I have a sinus arrhythmia that causes my heart to slow down when I breath in and speed up with I breath out (this is normal- nothing bad at all)

Anyways she said “wow, you have a LOT of tiny tiny black head all over your chin and forehead. Those on your nose though. Phew!”

Sigh. I strive to impress all my healthcare professionals. LOL!

Anyways she finally got them all clean- which after I got out of there and into my car for the full inspection I was was astounded. I had not one black head on my entire face. seriously. I haven’t been this clean since I was…well- in utero if you must know.  I have no idea what she was using, but I want one.

They she did the electropulsating thingy all over my face, chest and shoulders. aaaaahhhhh. I loved that. Of course I am the freak that likes TENS units and like the EMGs my husband did to me for practice. I am electrowoman! LOL!

Long story short (ha)…I have ‘complicated’ skin I am told. HA HA. Try to avoid stress I am told. HA HA HA.

I am now going to go once a month for my facials. Sigh. I know. Here I am the hypocrite. Damn pampered doctors wifes with their maids, pool boys, grass cutters…and getting pedicures, haircuts for 40bucks and now monthly facials? Such a pampered life- why is she complaining?

I am complaining b/c I never see my husband. It is 1211am and he just got home for going into t he ER for the third time tonight. His beeper just went off again, and I bet they want him to come in again. Sigh.

I am getting pampered b/c I am in charge for all things domestic. House, yard, bills. Basically my husband is his job. That is it, and that is all he has time/energy/brain space for. I am the rest. The rest is a fucking lot. It is my responsibility to make sure our money is managed wisely. That our yard men do the yard right. That the garage gets cleaned- that the gutters are cleaned. Are the cars all current on all maintenance? That is my job to know. I have to call the doctor for him when HE is having an emergency.

ooooo….totally didn’t see this vent coming….that was outta the blue.

NOW- it is up to me to get these counseling sessions in the works- which I finally did. June 14th!!! YEAH! Apparently our hospital is linked with Ciridian/Lifeworks for employee wellness- well mental wellness. They are separate from our insurance, and it is a really cool system. If you are having a crisis/issue- they will authorize you up to 8 free sessions with a counselor. Not billed to your insurance. Not shared with your employer. They only break confidentiality if you are a danger to yourself or others, or if there is child or elder in danger. Other than that no one will know.

PERFECT! I think (hope) that 8 sessions will work for us to get the main things done. Hopefully not too much time to find more shit that is wrong with us. LOL!

I love the FREE part! Everyone should check out if their employer offers that. The only reason I knew is b/c on of my friends at work did it for her child that was getting bullied at school. I never would have known if she hadn’t said  “thank goodness they gave us 8 more free sessions”.

So, that is our next day to look forward to. The 14th- our head shrinking day. LOL!

I started my craptastic period today and have been a raging lunatic.  Hence the ambien for sleep……HENCE the crazy rambly last two posts. Hope they make sense.

We are going to go stay at the beach this weekend. Hopefully the old will wait until sunday to get here. I would like one last few days at our beautiful sugar white shores. sniff sniff.

I say we stuff  van der sloot in the oil leak and solve all the current event problems. Only I would worry all this HOT AIR would blow it up somehow.  Asshole.

I need to get to sleep.

HUGS and shouts out to all my newby bloggers that I have found- I can’t seem to think of your blogger pseudonym right now….but you know who you are!!!!! 🙂

I am so glad you are here. definitely check out The Stirrup Queen’s ICLW (International Comment Leaving Week or “I Come Leave We…….I come but leave as WE)  It is the best way to get out there an meet new bloggers and learn a lot about how other girls (and guys) hand this suck ass vortex known as IF.

I highly urge ALL women to check out the guy blogs…..They are all just awesome.

Toot toots for tonight. My slambien is kicklets my chicklets.  tee hee.

off to dream of sinkholes (seriously the night before the sinkhole I dreamed my house got swallowed in one….no lie. it was crazy.)

I will dream of babies so that someone I know that doesn’t want to get pregnant will….b/c that is how it rolls with me.



Last thought…..why oh WHY did someone searching for “F*CK!N6 a bumpy belly journey” would end up on my blog.?  How about “Passes for the ButtCam Gerbil”

who ARE these people?


6 responses to “Squeeky Clean…ram-ambienbling

  1. I love your posts so much, I think we were separated at birth sometimes. I hear you about the being everything else, I think that is the technical job description for “wife”… Everything else. It is ok most days, but some days it is a whole he’ll of a lot to deal with. At least my husband works here at the house when he works all night (he is sending an email right now and it’s 2 am). Why am I still awake?

  2. I heart you. 🙂

  3. Omg, I’m so glad they got that crazy Dutchman finally! Before he kills any more women :(.

    I LOVE facials! I’ve only had 2 in my life, but they were awesome! I have had much better skin since I went on this crazy diet – it was horrible before though. Even though I never had acne as a teenager – it was stress and hormones at 23 or 24 that made my face just explode and just last year finally got it under control.

  4. After all the craptastic that has been going on with us, I told my husband I was going to start being high maintenance and expensive…lol I went and got my hair done and a new car. I really want to get a facial because I have wonky skin too….And I hate it!

  5. We all deserve to be pampered. I’ll go to the spa with you anyday of the week!

  6. DeterminedDory

    My pamper of choice is a massage… my skin is so ridiculously sensitive that I worry too much about a facial. Luckily I generally have clear skin. But a massage…. oh lord. In fact, I think I could use one very, very soon. I’ve been trying to look through the guy’s blogs on there to send my husband the links to read. And I feel you about the husband being missing part too, mine’s a cop and works nights, so we usually go a few days at a time without seeing each other. Except, we don’t have the doctor’s salary!! A cop and a teacher… what were we thinking???

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