Blimp…(tmi)


You are warned….tmi

I am a blimp. A huge gas filled blimp. In the course of about three weeks my stomach has tripled in size. My little sweet Oat(s) may be the size of a grain of rice…but HOLY SHITE the havoc that is being reeked on my GI tract is unheard of.

I can’t wear most of my jeans- from The Bloat.

I look about 14 weeks already- fromΒ  The Bloat.

My husband gets grossed out a regular intervals, but doesn’t say a WORD (God bless him)- from The Bloat.

WTF is going on with me? oh, yeah, I am pregnant. wha- tha? OMG I AM PREGNANT. No way. Really? They got the blood tests wrong. No, wait- they got them right, but I am pretty sure I farted my baby out

BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING BLOAT!

On another note (ppppffffttt)…uh, sorry. THE BLOAT is even reaching through the computer to YOU!!! Mwaaaa-ha-ha-ha.

I have been insanely tired. I don’t know if it is the pregnancy…wha-I am WHAT? PREGNANT? REALLY?! No way. REALLY? OMG.

oh-sorry, that is how my mind works. Or doesn’t work lately. Whatever…I am kinda like that normally, but THE BLOAT is killing me.

ooooohhhhh…something shiny…….

 

 

 

 

 

oh, yeah. My beta #2 was called in Monday at 1110am. I knew they would call, and she was apologitic about it. She said she thought I knew. I understand. It was Friday. Whatever.

It was 868 on 18dpt! Sweet Oat has a rockin’ placenta…or I have a Pheasant Chasing that Oat. πŸ™‚

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8 responses to “Blimp…(tmi)

  1. LOL…you are one funny lady! And YES you are pregnant. So happy Sweet Oat is growing nicely……even if you are bloatiful! πŸ˜‰

  2. So… Very…. Psyched for you!!! πŸ™‚

  3. woot.
    the bloat sucks, but YAY oat!

  4. Embrace the bloat because it will go from bloat to blimp soon enough…you haven’t seen blimp until 40 weeks!

  5. Congrats on the Bloat! Embrace it! πŸ™‚ The gas I get from the bloat even terrifies our Frenchies, and their gas can clear the first floor of our home. Finally, DH knows what life was like for me before I could out-gas him! Hah!
    And hey – you’re pregnant! It’s just so awesome!!!!

  6. Ha, ha! This is classic! Fantastic that you are pregnant! Now you will just have to go jeans shopping too πŸ™‚

    Ps. What was the shiny distraction? LOL.

  7. Hahaha πŸ™‚ Yay though that you get to experience all these ‘wonderful’ pregnancy symptoms, lol. Awesome!!!

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