We headed up to the BAU this past weekend to meet with Dr. 5000 and get our ultrasound. It was a good weekend- busy trying to see everyone that we needed to see. As per usual I am sure I ticked people off b/c they think b/c I come up there I need to be sure and go see them. NEVER occurs to some people to come where I AM. Since after driving 4 hours I might be a little damn tired of being in the fucking car. It gets old. Whatev.
Anyhoo- we got to the appt early. Like a hour early. We had checked out of the hotel we stayed in (wanted to be near BWW so Kingman could drink) at 11am, and went to eat BBQ. It was all so fast, and we got to the clinic at 1230- our appt wasn’t until 130pm. LOL. I had my Nintendo DS, and Kingman had his Droid2, so all was good.
What was cool, is that they called us back at 1250! Just quick history by the fellow, then blood pressure and all that good stuff. They had me undressed and waiting on the doctor by 1pm. They kept apologizing b/c he was still in a meeting (LOL- meaning he was eating still). So the fellow and the resident started on the ultrasound. It was funny b/c the resident was so timid with the vag-a-sound. Turning it about 5 degrees either way, and not being able to see anything. LOL. I was about to say “Shove it in farther and ram it around crazy girl!!!” The fellow finally guided her what to do and things started showing up.
One little Sweet Oat. (just one! Phew)
o.m.g. It was crazy. Seeing a little cheerio that is the yolk sac, and the fluid filled gestational sac was just surreal. That was really inside ME. They were able to zoom in and get the heart beat. We could see the two separate chambers, and then…swhooosh, swhoosh, swhoosh of the heartbeat. So insane that in just about four weeks THAT was created. A tiny being that is so dependent on me- yet so much seperate with its own beating heart. Already.
Of course I started crying, and laughing…and shot all the pictures to hell and back b/c it is kinda hard to ultrasound a jiggling pelvis. It was crazy to laugh and SEE the little blob move. We got a few printed out pictures, that almost got crushed b/c Kingman was holding onto them so hard. He is so excited. I asked him if he felt any detachment b/c it wasn’t his sperm that created his child- and he said no. He said he had a fleeting second a little bit after the initial seeing/hearing it, but it was also relief. He said he realizes he would be MORE worried that something would be wrong with the baby if it was from him. His health issues have not been disproven to have a genetic link, so we would be terrified he would pass that through his genes. I am so glad to hear that, I was so worried what it would be like when the moment happened.
All of us girls with Azoo know this feeling. They say they are ready, but are they really? Are they just saying go ahead with this cycle to make us happy? Will the pull away and not have an attachment? I obviously can’t speak for all men-but it was totally all OURS. It is OUR baby. This is OUR pregnancy. This little Sweet Oat is going to be Kingman’s Prince or Princess. No further question in either of our hearts.
SO, if you are an Azoo girl, and you are reading this (or an Azoo guy)- it really doesn’t matter. Okay, it does, but it DOESN’T. It is hard to explain. Sigh.
Anyhoo- the doctor said that everything looked “Perfect”. See? I ALREADY have a perfect child. *ahem* 🙂 I measured exactly 6w0d, which is right on target with my LMP and IUI. So my tentative due date is 8/8/10. I am going to be making FULL use out of my pool this next summer. LOL.
I am going to add a tab up at the top to keep the ultrasounds and other various pictures on- so if you want to see them you. I don’t want to alienate my girls that are still in the journey. I know it is hard to see those grainy black and whites- even if it is a fellow IFer. Feelings don’t stop just because it a comrade that has gotten on the pregnancy train.
🙂 I love you all, and want you all to experience this. If I could delay my pregnancy just one month to insure you all had BFPs I totally would. In my joy, I feel sorrow for pain I know is out there. I pray for you all every time I think about you guys.