Tag Archives: Friends

Ooey Gooey Love

I am so very blessed to have so many awesome friends. I may not have that many in the town I live in- but thankfully the few I have are AWESOME.

What has been my sanity and saving grace for the last 2 years (have I really been blogging that long??!?)  has been all my bloggy friends. I have had a chance to meet one in person- Blossom and Her Fruit. She is due any day! She hasn’t blogged in a while, but we have kept in touch a little here and there.  I met her when I went to Chicago  in 2009. It was such a blessing- and I am so happy for her and the soon to be birth of her twins!!

I have met so many great people on this blogosphere. I have a friend IRL that refereed once to people met online as “fake friends”. She wasn’t talking about me, but rather someone else in her life. I didn’t say anything, b/c nothing I can say will make her understand the support system and love that you all give me. To each other….all to “strangers”. Are we really? We turn to these blogs to talk about our most personal feelings- about things we can’t talk to our “real” friends about.

I must admit- I am BLESSED to have several IRL friends I can share pretty much EVERYTHING with. Even uber fertile ones that acknowledge the pain and emptiness I felt with each BFP announcement… BUT. You are that ones that “GET IT”. As much as my IRL friends love me beyond measure…they don’t ‘GET IT’.  Not as a knock to them- I wouldn’t want them to have to understand.

I am just so thankful for you all.  After a while in the blog world, I ventured over to twitter. I had a personal account, but I found that more and more people that I had exchanged emails in the ALI (Adoption/Loss/Infertility) online community were adding me. I then started seeing all the support and love happening….I wanted MORE! I changed my twitter over to match my blog and blocked all IRL people except the ones I trusted …and became an IF tweeter.

The support has blown me away. If you feel like comments on your blogs are hugs- then the flurry of replies to your news (bad/good/etc) will feel like a down right orgy. The support is amazing.

It is funny b/c I will tell people that don’t know about my IF mostly twitter about something I read on twitter. A news story, something funny, etc, and I am met with “You do twitter?”  Sometimes I am worried I will get an “oh- I do too, what is your handle” (or whatever it is called). There are some people I just don’t want to follow me on there.

I have bounced around the idea of a ‘fake’ twitter. A decoy…one that any IRL peeps that are not in my IF circle could stumble across. Sigh…just seems like too much work.

I am SOOOOOOO off course here.

What I am getting around to is that yesterday I had a box on my front porch. I was expecting a box from an IRL friend in TX, so I wasn’t too surprised. Then I saw that it was from another state. Odd.

I opened it and saw wrapped packages. THAT I knew was wrong. I started grinning b/c I knew it was from one of my IF friends. One of my “fake” friends (can I BOLD the quote marks please?).

Beautiful Card!

Opened the beautiful card to find wonderfully sweet words of congratulations.

Foxy Popcorn is one thoughtful, sweet, and compassionate “fake” friend. I am blessed to have her in my life and in my corner.

Opened the box and what do I see?

I opened them and teared up. It was so sweet, and the first homemade thing I have got for the baby. It is even more special b/c she made it, and she is in the trenches with me. To think that she took the time to pick out the fabric, measure, sew, etc- all for my baby- just humbles me.

Back side of blanket is sooooo soft! LOVE IT!

.Hand made quilt and Burp Cloth from Foxy

I know there will be more home made gifts- my best friend is DYING to make stuff, and another is going to monogram stuff after the baby comes.

THIS is special. It was the first for the first

F….

F is for Friends.

I am blessed to have so many friends. When we are younger, it seems so much easier to find likeminded people to be friends with. I think that is b/c we are still coming into our own “grown up self”. We are still being molding into who we are. We are influenced by the friends we make- good or bad. Sometimes being friends with someone that hurts you turns you into a better person. You learn how NOT to treat people.

I am one of the type of person that makes friends pretty easy- but the fostering of those friendships can be difficult. I guess I am n0t the kind of person that wants to sit around and bullshit for hours with someone that irritates me for whatever reason. I have had people want to hang out with me b/c they think I am certain way b/c of who I am married to. I am not materialistic, and I am a simple person. I shop clearance and clip coupons. I put the max into my IRA, and I watch my accounts religiously. I don’t live for the next designer shoe sale.

Um, tangent much?

Where was I? Oh, yeah friends. 🙂  I have made a few really good friends here. I am fine with that- b/c the friends I have made in my three years in this town, I KNOW I will stay friends with forever. I think that is the difference when you get older(which can be relative), the close friends you make are ones you will keep forever.

Now there is the element of internet friends. I must be the luckiest girl in the world b/c I have met the best set of friends over the interwebs.

I may be physically alone at times, but I am never EVER truely alone. There seems to always be someone on the other end of the twitter feed, or commenting on my blog.

Thank you all so much.

I love you ALL!

 

Oh, F is also for FIRE. Being that it got down to a chilly chilly 40 something last night it was offically winter weather down here. We had a friend bring some firewood last night (um, did anyone else that a CORD of wood is a lot of damn wood?). We have had a fire going, and it is wonderful. Even if yesterday I had to turn OFF the heat pump b/c the AC kept turning on. LOL.

My husband is happy, and therefore I am happy.

Have a happy night!

 

Every Craptastic Day Has….

….a silver lining.

After today, all I can say is THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS. I had a hard time after I moved here three years ago. I had a hard time finding friends, finding people to connect with. Hard time feeling “home”. I felt out of place, and didn’t connect with anyone. I started working out and got along smashingly with my trainer(ShitBrickHouse- Sorry girl….you were dubbed that a long time ago). Little did I know that I would save my mental health with this personal training. My physical health- meh. I hate working out, so I am still overweight. That is not her fault, but rather my hand to mouth excercise that I do. All. The. Time. LOL.

Anyhoo. Let me back up. Today sucked ass.  Started out POAS to check for my LH surge. The test strips were the 20 to a pack literal sticks. I started POAS cd4 (forgot to until then- I am new to actually actively  doing treatments, so I was confused!!!).  When I used the clear blue fertility monitor, my LH surge would show up around day 15-17, sometimes even into the 20s. My period would come around day 31. I have all the symptoms usually- egg white cervical mucous, pangs, tenderness, increased sex drive, etc. etc. etc. Text book symptoms.

Since POAS this cycle it has remained the same color (the test line versus the control line) a faint faint pink line. If I saw that on a HPT I would think I was MAYBE pregnant. On an OPK, I think- no LH surge yet. So imagine my surprise  when this am it is hardly even a faint outline of a line. Lighter than before. EH? Isn’t it supposed to get DARKER for LH surges? I peed on several sticks…opened a new pack (after hurling the 6 packs of HPTs across my extra bathroom in rage and fear) and used them.

Desperate call to my REs nurse. Who is apparently out of work until further notice b/c of an eye duct surgery and post op infection. GRRRRRR.

THEN the yard people cutting my cable line (internet). Then me realizing my internet was still up- so they must have cut a defunk line. Called and told the dispatch people for the cable company. Said he was already on his way, but they would tell him.

Cable man gets here, and proceeds to disconnect my cable and rip up the WORKING line without checking in. Then apparently it took 1 hour or so to get done what took him 5 minutes to destruct. Grrrr. Whatever- he fixed it.

During this time I was on the phone with Miss SBH no less than three times. Each call lasting about 1 minute until the next person rang my doorbell or called my home phone with a problem.

THEN the delivery people called and said they were coming early (WOO HOOOO!!!) with my new snazzy fridge. I frantically empty the fridge, and the arrive. I think oh- lucky me. Early. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

The fridge comes through the door so beautiful, new and shiny. I am drooling. I want to go by lettuce for the crisper. I want wine to go in the wine rack. Sigh.

It slid right in without any problems…until we tried to open the left side door. Apparently when you open french door/ bottom freezers the width is ACTUALLY an inch or so MORE than what the stated measurements are. The door opens and goes to the side, and it couldn’t b/c there is a MOTHER FUCKING WALL THERE. I saw my beautiful, new, shiny fridge get loaded back up on the truck and hauled away. You can’t have a fridge that you can’t open the doors. to. Sigh. In the midst of it, I was trying to call my husband to figure out what to do. He couldn’t call back.

Finally he calls back, and I am on the phone with him when the Owner of the Landscaping company shows up. To figure out the cable issue, and talk about sprinklers. I had JUST gotten to the LH stick situation, so he is all “You have to finish telling me- what is going on? Did you ovulate?”, and I all “I have to GO!”

So two new sprinkler heads and negative three hydrangea bushes later (the are coming tomorrow) I call him back. By now I am in tears. I tell him about the LH situation, that this cycle may be a bust, I am heartbroken, nothing ever goes right for me, I am a shit maganet…basically woe is me….times four. I got a good cry out, and he calmed me down. Told me to go get a glass of wine and sit by the pool. As I go to get some wine out of liquor cabinet I got BACK on the phone to call my friend (Miss SBH) and there is ringing of my doorbell. A shitstorm of cuss words and epitaphs escaped my mouth about whoever was ringing my doorbell, and if they had bad news I was going to let them have it. I hung up before my friend could answer.

I open the door and guess what?

My wonderful friend. With Starbucks……and Panera. Coffee and bread. There IS A GOD!!!!!  I felt so much better just seeing her on my doorstep. I am so very very blessed. She knows all of our journey- she actually has this blog site (Hi ShitBrickHouse!), and I trust her implicitly. She actually gave me the idea to put peach brandy in my cinnamon dolce latte. THANK YOU!

So. We talked, and the stress of the day melted away. Isn’t amazing how a friend’s simple presence can be the balm your soul needs? Well, and coffee and bread…and booze….but you all know what I mean! 🙂

So as the after wears on, I am getting more and more anxious. No call…no call….no call. Finally at 4pm (or so) RING! I get a call from the nurse in the clinic. Not my nurse, but another since she is out from surgery. She said that it was really weird about my test strips. Who knows what is going on. Said to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound.  By 1030am. YIKES>

Did I mention Big Ass University is 4 hours away?  Did I mention my husband is on call tonight?

She said that the IUI most likely wouldn’t happen tomorrow, just a monitoring US to see where my follies stand. Said that if I had not ovulated they would measure them, and then probably trigger me with HCG. If the follies were close I would trigger tomorrow or thursday. I would totally prefer Thursday since The King has Friday off of work…but I will do what they recommend. I would love for my husband to be there when I get pregnant. 🙂

Anyhoo- so that is where I stand. Had to cancel my dental appointment for the SECOND TIME this month. They think I am a big flake I am sure.

AHHHH!!!!! So, I guess I am getting up at 530am to get on the road by 6am to get up there. Ugh. I texted The King with the news and haven’t heard back from him…which means he is super busy.

I am in a good place now.

Did I mention that I lose my license? You have to go down in PERSON to get a new one. I don’t’ think they open at 5am so I am going to have to drive 500+ without one….or miss my opportunity to have a child this month after years of infertility. Um….yeah. Don’t judge. LOL