….a silver lining.
After today, all I can say is THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS. I had a hard time after I moved here three years ago. I had a hard time finding friends, finding people to connect with. Hard time feeling “home”. I felt out of place, and didn’t connect with anyone. I started working out and got along smashingly with my trainer(ShitBrickHouse- Sorry girl….you were dubbed that a long time ago). Little did I know that I would save my mental health with this personal training. My physical health- meh. I hate working out, so I am still overweight. That is not her fault, but rather my hand to mouth excercise that I do. All. The. Time. LOL.
Anyhoo. Let me back up. Today sucked ass. Started out POAS to check for my LH surge. The test strips were the 20 to a pack literal sticks. I started POAS cd4 (forgot to until then- I am new to actually actively doing treatments, so I was confused!!!). When I used the clear blue fertility monitor, my LH surge would show up around day 15-17, sometimes even into the 20s. My period would come around day 31. I have all the symptoms usually- egg white cervical mucous, pangs, tenderness, increased sex drive, etc. etc. etc. Text book symptoms.
Since POAS this cycle it has remained the same color (the test line versus the control line) a faint faint pink line. If I saw that on a HPT I would think I was MAYBE pregnant. On an OPK, I think- no LH surge yet. So imagine my surprise when this am it is hardly even a faint outline of a line. Lighter than before. EH? Isn’t it supposed to get DARKER for LH surges? I peed on several sticks…opened a new pack (after hurling the 6 packs of HPTs across my extra bathroom in rage and fear) and used them.
Desperate call to my REs nurse. Who is apparently out of work until further notice b/c of an eye duct surgery and post op infection. GRRRRRR.
THEN the yard people cutting my cable line (internet). Then me realizing my internet was still up- so they must have cut a defunk line. Called and told the dispatch people for the cable company. Said he was already on his way, but they would tell him.
Cable man gets here, and proceeds to disconnect my cable and rip up the WORKING line without checking in. Then apparently it took 1 hour or so to get done what took him 5 minutes to destruct. Grrrr. Whatever- he fixed it.
During this time I was on the phone with Miss SBH no less than three times. Each call lasting about 1 minute until the next person rang my doorbell or called my home phone with a problem.
THEN the delivery people called and said they were coming early (WOO HOOOO!!!) with my new snazzy fridge. I frantically empty the fridge, and the arrive. I think oh- lucky me. Early. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
The fridge comes through the door so beautiful, new and shiny. I am drooling. I want to go by lettuce for the crisper. I want wine to go in the wine rack. Sigh.
It slid right in without any problems…until we tried to open the left side door. Apparently when you open french door/ bottom freezers the width is ACTUALLY an inch or so MORE than what the stated measurements are. The door opens and goes to the side, and it couldn’t b/c there is a MOTHER FUCKING WALL THERE. I saw my beautiful, new, shiny fridge get loaded back up on the truck and hauled away. You can’t have a fridge that you can’t open the doors. to. Sigh. In the midst of it, I was trying to call my husband to figure out what to do. He couldn’t call back.
Finally he calls back, and I am on the phone with him when the Owner of the Landscaping company shows up. To figure out the cable issue, and talk about sprinklers. I had JUST gotten to the LH stick situation, so he is all “You have to finish telling me- what is going on? Did you ovulate?”, and I all “I have to GO!”
So two new sprinkler heads and negative three hydrangea bushes later (the are coming tomorrow) I call him back. By now I am in tears. I tell him about the LH situation, that this cycle may be a bust, I am heartbroken, nothing ever goes right for me, I am a shit maganet…basically woe is me….times four. I got a good cry out, and he calmed me down. Told me to go get a glass of wine and sit by the pool. As I go to get some wine out of liquor cabinet I got BACK on the phone to call my friend (Miss SBH) and there is ringing of my doorbell. A shitstorm of cuss words and epitaphs escaped my mouth about whoever was ringing my doorbell, and if they had bad news I was going to let them have it. I hung up before my friend could answer.
I open the door and guess what?
My wonderful friend. With Starbucks……and Panera. Coffee and bread. There IS A GOD!!!!! I felt so much better just seeing her on my doorstep. I am so very very blessed. She knows all of our journey- she actually has this blog site (Hi ShitBrickHouse!), and I trust her implicitly. She actually gave me the idea to put peach brandy in my cinnamon dolce latte. THANK YOU!
So. We talked, and the stress of the day melted away. Isn’t amazing how a friend’s simple presence can be the balm your soul needs? Well, and coffee and bread…and booze….but you all know what I mean! 🙂
So as the after wears on, I am getting more and more anxious. No call…no call….no call. Finally at 4pm (or so) RING! I get a call from the nurse in the clinic. Not my nurse, but another since she is out from surgery. She said that it was really weird about my test strips. Who knows what is going on. Said to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound. By 1030am. YIKES>
Did I mention Big Ass University is 4 hours away? Did I mention my husband is on call tonight?
She said that the IUI most likely wouldn’t happen tomorrow, just a monitoring US to see where my follies stand. Said that if I had not ovulated they would measure them, and then probably trigger me with HCG. If the follies were close I would trigger tomorrow or thursday. I would totally prefer Thursday since The King has Friday off of work…but I will do what they recommend. I would love for my husband to be there when I get pregnant. 🙂
Anyhoo- so that is where I stand. Had to cancel my dental appointment for the SECOND TIME this month. They think I am a big flake I am sure.
AHHHH!!!!! So, I guess I am getting up at 530am to get on the road by 6am to get up there. Ugh. I texted The King with the news and haven’t heard back from him…which means he is super busy.
I am in a good place now.
Did I mention that I lose my license? You have to go down in PERSON to get a new one. I don’t’ think they open at 5am so I am going to have to drive 500+ without one….or miss my opportunity to have a child this month after years of infertility. Um….yeah. Don’t judge. LOL