Tag Archives: insomnia sucks ASS

Labor dreams.

I am in awe over all my friends from Twitter that have accepted my challenge and have sent items to help tornado victims. If you haven’t seen my last post, please check it out. If you are able to spare five bucks, send the church some work gloves. Pick up some coloring books at the dollar store and send them media mail rate. In these circumstances, nothing is too small.

I have talked about my “Fake” friends before and some people may not know where it comes from.  That phrase comes from an IRL friend that said “Fake” friends were”those people that you pretend are you friends that you meet on the internet. They aren’t real friends”

I am sorry that she hasn’t met you guys. During the rough times you all have been here with me….during the good times you have cheered me on. I may not post for a month, but you still are there. Thank  you.

You guys keep me sane…..um..sane-ish. Guess you can’t KEEP me sane if I am already a little crazy. LOL.

SO…HOW are the Bumps going on my Journey so far? It has been two weeks since my cerclage and it has definitely been filled with bumps/lumps and hurdles.

I am slowly healing, but I think where I am now is pretty much how it will be for a while. I move around too much and start having contractions. Painful contractions. I am supposed to be having braxton hicks at this point in my pregnancy (26w4d), and I can tell the difference b/t them and “real” contractions. I notice I start with painless contractions (a tightening feeling of sorts), then my cervix HURTS and I swear I feel the baby get low. This would be b/c my ute is irritable (aka CRANKY UTE) and it makes my cervix open up like a large  mouth bass to the point of my cerclage.

THEN I have pain, and then the ‘real’ contractions start. PAINFUL, and my ute feels like granite. It isn’t fun.

The mornings are the worse by far. Combination of sleeping for several hours and not keeping my bladder empty, and positioning, etc. It takes til around noon to feel okay to move around and do stuff. Then by 1 or 2 I am exhausted b/c I didnt’ sleep well   have to take a nap. I am blessed I am able to be at home. Although, I made the statement on Twitter the other day that SAHM and Housewives deserve to file for temporary disability in situations like this.

I have a hard time doing laundry. The bending into the washer presses my belly on the washer. Bending over to pick up clothes, or get them out of the dryer puts pressure on my belly….pressure on my belly results in my cervix opening up like a frigging LARGE MOUTH BASS….and we all know where this goes. Same goes for loading the dishwasher, making the bed, basically anything. Sigh.

So the whole nighttime crappy sleep thing? I have issues with insomnia ANYWAYS, but it is about to get a lot worse. I had a very vivid dream that I was in labor. I was getting coached to push…My best friend was counting and my husband had his hand on my arm for comfort and encouragement. Nothing was happening no matter how hard I pushed…..and it hurt.so.bad.

Then I kinda woke up.

So apparently I am trying to PUSH my 26 week baby out in MY FREAKING SLEEP.

Needless to say I now have issues falling asleep.

Ugh

Block

I am having a mental block when it comes to blogging. I find things that I think about and muse about, but then I find myself censoring. I find myself thinking things that I think will be met with some eyerolls and groans.

Sometimes I swear I forget I am pregnant. I have not been having very many symptoms at all. I was so sick over Christmas, and the fatigue that I have been having is pretty much just like I got over a bad flu. I don’t feel the overwhelming fatigue, but rather I more feel like I am just really lazy. Then I find myself asleep at 4pm for an hour or so. Then I can’t sleep at night. I pee a bunch……honestly that is all. Well, and most of my jeans are now too small- but really more just in my hips, ass and belly (like apple belly, not baby bump), U tgubj U beed ti ubvest ub aq bekka babd,

uh- that was me typing on the wrong keys. LOL. “I think I need to invest in a bella band” HA HA HA.

Anyhoo- we went up to the ILs for New Years and had a blast. Kingman saw some of his friends from childhood that he hasn’t seen since he went off to Graduate school. Spent a lot of time just vegging out, and that was awesome. 🙂

We actually scored tickets to go to the Steelers Playoff game  next weekend, so we are heading back up for that. I am NOT looking forward to the cold weather. I am going to have to get some good layering going on, and pray that it doesn’t rain. I am going to be taking some cute pictures that weekend, and am going to incorporate them into my pregnancy announcement. 🙂

I have a cousin that has been trying to get pregnant for over a year, and I have been trying to call her for a few weeks to talk to her. I wanted to tell her that I am pregnant before she hears it from someone else, but she isn’t returning my phone calls. It was her Grandmother that passed away last year (my aunt), and the holidays were hard for them. I feel bad if I don’t call, then I call and no one calls me back- so why should i keep calling? These are God faring people, so it is confusing to me. I think my aunt would be sad about how this past holiday season went down- family was the most important thing to her and there were no family holidays. I wasn’t home for any of them (Out of town,and then at home sick and husband working- so I had honest excuses).

Anyhoo- I dont’ want her to find out on facebook b/c we ALL know how that is…but what else am I supposed to do?

Speaking of Facebook- UGH. I don’t give a shit if you think Being called mom was the best thing ever, or your daughter is the most beautiful thing ever, or your dog is your best friend or anything else that ALSO includes the phrase “if you agree please repost” .

I am sick of people tYpINg LiKe ThIs…and speking and spilling lak there eediots. Fo Shiz. Most of these people are in their 40s, and should be old enough TO KNOW BETTTTTTTTER. Why are they KNOWINGLY dumbing themselves up. Or down…heck i dunno- maybe it is contagious.

What else? Oh- Kingmans work is driving me nuts…but what is new.

My EX work fucked up my lab test. When I went in on Christmas Eve they did a flu test. I kept calling and the results where NEVER BACK. The next Wednesday (the 29th) there was STILL no result. I knew something was fucked up b/c I know the courier comes at 430 to take labs over to the main hospital. I KNOW the flu tests are done and resulted by 1030 the next day. They have to be b/c you have 48 hours from the onset of flu symptoms to get the meds started. So when four days later they kept giving me the “ah, it hasn’t  been resulted, let me have so and so call you…we can’t find your chart, etc. etc.” I KNEW it was bullshit. I worked there for three fucking years- I SEE THROUGH YOU. I know when you are lying to me- b/c I know how it works. I know the scripting that is used to talk to patients when something is screwed up. Damage control. Geez. I dont’ care- me of all people. I understand accidents happen- just talk to me. I know we are all human. I am probably THE BEST person to have something go wrong on. I understand. (Remember the Thursday Beta that I didn’t get until monday? Most people would be ballistic…me- I am understanding)

Anyhoo- my ex boss called today and told me that the lab tech  (that was new) used the wrong probe to get the nasal sample to test for the flu. I actually asked him that day- it seemed to big…but he said it was the right stuff. (HA, should have trusted my instincts) Anyhoo- the lab has to have a certain swab for their machines, so they didnt’ run it. I understand that. What I DON”T understand is why I wasn’t called earlier? Why did it take almost TWO WEEKS to call me and tell me? I am irritated-but if it was flu positive I wouldn’t have changed anything but had to then choose whether or not to start Tamiflu. I didn’t want to- I am more of a purist with medications and pregnancy. Especially EARLY pregnancy. On the flip side- viruses are also known to cause genetic mutations in early pregnancy….call me crazy, but I want to know what is going on in my body. When I saw the NP for my inital OB appointment 5 days later she wanted to know the result. Especially since I ran a fever for over 24 hours.

Anyhoo- I didn’t get into with my exBoss b/c I didn’t want to say “I am pregnant and was worried” I have not come out of the pregnancy closet yet, and  I know she would tell people. I was lucky enough to have one of the only people at the clinic I trust working and she triage me. She left my LMP a recent date- huge risk on her part. She then pulled the Dr. that saw me aside and told him the details. He knew I was TTC before I left- actually he knew that was why I was forced out of my job (needed the time for my appointments that they wouldn’t give me).

Anyhoo- he was COMPLETELY understanding about nosey nellies and my desire for people not to know. I just don’t know what HE put on the chart. I completely trust him to not say a word..but he is also a great doctor and I don’t know if he put on his narrative anything about me being 7weeks 5 days pregnant.

I really wonder b/c my boss wanted to know “soooo…how are you doing…….are you doing gooooood?”

I will file a HIPPA complaint if I EVER find out she told a soul. I would literally flip the shit out.

Anyways. That is my drama. My life is boring right now. 🙂

Icky Sicky and Other Banalities.

Why in the world am i posting at 4am? Well, other than the persistent insomnia that I have been plagued with that is. I am sick. Good old-fashioned sick- clear runny nose, headache, malaise. I am thinking that it is just a cold, but I may go get checked out tomorrow just to make sure it isn’t the flu. I didn’t get the flu shot this year, but I am getting pretty short of breath. I am sitting out on the recliner and I just can’t catch my breath. I have been SOB (short of breath) since pretty much CD 26.

So I am trying to watch TV. There is nothing on. So I am playing with my TV…NO you dirty dirty people, I am not having a liaison with my TV or watching porn- although it is so awesome I may be tempted. This TV rocks my world.  It has all the fancy widgets and internet. I can watch my Netflix, Hulu plus (um, if I had it), check my Facebook, Twitter, play games. It has a tool bar across the bottom when I do the internet TV so I can look at my Flickr photos, youtube, picasa….aaaaahhHH! TILT TILT TILT. The only part that sucks ass is that we have a Harmony remote and not a keyboard type remote. DARN IT!

What else is new with me? Oh, how about the fact that the night of the lunar eclipse my husband peed all over the toilet seat b/c he forgot to put it up. Ugh. Since I get up to pee around every 1.5 hours, I got a ruuuuude awakening when I sat down. Needless to say, it woke me up! Wet toilet seats are so gross. Of course I had wash my hienie…and couldn’t get back to sleep. That was like around 330 or 4am. THAT was a long ass day. My stomach was tore up(not related to wet toilet seat),  and the slow down of the GI tract is definitely kicking in.

DirecTv was coming to upgrade our service for our new snazzy TV, and he called to say he would be earlier than he thought….like 1030. So, as I fell asleep and woke up at 10am or so…..quick shower, and I realized I didnt’ have time to GO. You know- Numero Dos. I waited, and waited and waited. Got in touch with the customer support person-can’t get in touch with the tech. I was about to die. I figured Murphys Law would kick in and he would show up when I sat down to GO and would be at the point of no return. No such luck….but he did finally show up at 330pm. Awesome huh? Wasted day.

On the plus side, our TV ROCKS…oh, I already said that right?

um…what else is new. OH- I got a Secret Santa present from my match at Braces Bunch. I was going to wait until Christmas to open it, but I couldn’t wait any longer! I can’t link her blog b/c it is private, but lets just say it is one of the best presents I have ever ever gotten. I put the picture of our last US in it from Monday. I will post a picture in the Sweet Oat page above if you want to see it. I have the US pictures posted there, so just be aware. If you are wary of the black and whites, I will take a picture later of just the frame and update this post. The picture is in the bedroom right now, and I can’t get it.

My brother came down Wednesday to drop off the hub’s present. My family is big on opening our presents on Christmas or a day or two after. We don’t open stuff early…so this was a huge box, so he had to bring it down for us since we won’t be back up there for another month or so.  I had a good short visit with him. Went to a local Irish restaurant/pub. He had to pee really really bad, and ended up going into the women’s restroom. LOL! Oh my- I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. He said he first realized something was wrong when he was peeing in a stall (which he thought was odd, and said he though “Hell- us Irish are too drunk to be modest- what is up with the individual stalls?) . He said he looked down and there was  metal box on the wall, and thought “Hmm…wonder what that is *open* OOOOHHHH NOOOO”  HA HA. So freaking funny. Had to wait until a lady finished peeing, and another finished changing a diaper before he could sneak out. To his defense they have the signs on the doors made up so you get confused. The Men’s has a wooden sign in the shape of a pointing had to the left saying Women.(meaning the women’s is other door), and the Women’s is vice versa. HA HA. To go to the bathroom at McGuire’s is to be away that you might get walked in on by the opposite sex.  We tested out the 3D movie Monsters V Aliens. Awesome.

Anyways, other than all this banality I am doing good. I am super excited for my Twitter friend @infertileturtle. She got a BFP on HPT and Beta! WOO HOOO!!! I can’t link her blog b/c IRL people read it and she doesn’t want them to know yet. I already screwed that one up…thank goodness she caught it and deleted it. DUH!

Morning all!!!