Tag Archives: IUI#1

B is for…..

B is for BEAR…Build-a-Bear.
The night before the last cycle (dIUI#1) Kingman and I stopped at Build-a-Bear workshop to make a bear for our baby. (guess we will go back and get a second if we have twins) My husband is from an area that is known for black bears, and when we saw this one he had a bond. He doesn’t really decide on things- is more a”whatever you like/want honey” kind of person. I guess for a lot of women that would be AWESOME, but I like to have participation. I have learned to live with it…but when he hones in on something I love it. I have to go with it.

Even a black bear. 🙂  It was super cute dressed up as Darth Vader also. The hubs didn’t want any clothes, but he did kiss the heart before we put it in our little Gordon.

Without further adieu.

Our Baby Black Bear- full of wishes.

NaBloPoMo

Here I am attempting to commit to NaBloPoMo. I figured it would do me good, and get me talking/thinking during this cycle. I am also signed up for Suzy’s 30 in 30…..check it out!

Who am? A wife, a friend, avid Steelers fan….lovable Cubbies fan (I know- polar opposites). I am a nurse, I am unemployed. I am infertile.

My husband has SCO (Sertoli Cell Only). So here we are. Donor sperm. Unconventional- yes. Are we at peace with it? Yes.

Do I give a shit what other people think? I’d like to say no, but the truth is yes. That is why this blog is as private as I can. I make mistakes, and log in under my pseudonym and make comments on my IRL friends blogs…but thankfully they are all level-headed people who respect me.

One of my best friends I will NOT dub Fertile Mrytle (b/c she said she was scared she would see her discription on my “Who are they” tab with that Moniker”. So, I will NOT call her FM. 🙂 Tee hee.

I apparently posted on her blog from here. That is okay. BUT. Apparently  have done this several times with OTHER people. THANK GOD I follow very very few IRL blogs. If I have done this, and you have figured out who the heck I am…Please keep your lips zipped. I should be ashamed of my IF, but this is more out of respect for my husband and his profession.

Also. I will promise not to do anymore ram-ambienling. LOL!

Anyhoo. We are going into this blog posting month with November 1st…which is also my Cycle day #1. We just just a failed dIUI. It is all good. We came down to NOLA (New Orleans) to cheer our lovely Steelers on (um, so I have been seriously twittering b/c I almost put a hashtag in front of Steelers- LOL).

Anyhoo- we are here in NOLA and having a blast. My period started last yesterday and so with full flow today. They count today as day one…and here we go again. It wasn’t a big surprise as I know my body pretty well. All my girls with endo will stand up and fist pump for that one huh? It is very very distinctive. We just know..

I have spent this weekend WAITING for my period to start b/c I wanted to make sure I wasn’t pickeling an embryo! LOL.  I have had a few too many…wait. I just had a BFN. There is no such thing as “Too Many” LOL!

Well, I am off to spend some more time with the hubs.

More tomorrow.

So It Begins.

The waiting. The anticipation. The frustration. The tears. The hopefulness. The futile fucking hope.

I have not tested, but I don’t need to. I know. I know my body-unless my uterus is pranking me with the most UNCOOL Halloween joke ever. You know how the Natives would put their ear to ground and hear/feel the hoof beats of upcoming frienemies? I feel Auntie Fucking Flo coming. I feel the slight tremors of pebbles on the ground, the unsettled feeling of ‘just knowing’.  Just  Call me Bumpy “Cries Over Flo” Journey.

I told The King last night that felt my period coming- the low backache like I lifted something wrong. The aching in my thighs, the *TMI* painful poop shooter, the Mt. Vesuvius on my chin, emotional liability. All harbingers of some thing most foul. I cried hysterical cries almost. I don’t think he has ever seen that before. It was to the point were he asked me if we needed to go to the ER. (HAHAHAHA) I had to shut it down least I made him think I was unsuitable to go through this again. I was good, I got it out.

Until this AM. See- every morning he kisses me good-bye. Every day. The TWO times in our life we haven’t he has called and apologized. I love this- it is starting our day out right. We always kiss goodbye and goodnight. We always say I love you. Since the IUI he has been kissing my belly (I had to redirect him after the first few days b/c it was just weird for him to be kissing my small bowel.) The first few days he would text me “How is the morula?” Then How is Blasto?”  then “How is our Embaby?” Also kissing me and our “growing” family.

This morning he only kissed me.

Broke. My. Heart.

Zen

**SPELL CHECK ISN’T WORKING…yes, I know I am an eeejit***

So, what happened?

I got up early on Wednesday and drove up to my REs for an ultrasound. They wanted me there by 1030, and I came rolling in around 1025. Nothing like Last Minute Lucy, huh? Then I had to wait until around 1130 for the actual US. I didn’t know if I had to have a full bladder or not, so I didn’t want to pee. I also had to crap. I knew I couldn’t crap without peeing- so lets just say that was one of the world’s most uncomfortable vag-a-sound ever.

Anyhoo. They didn’t check any blood work, just checked the US. I was cycle day  13, and the had no idea why my test strips showed what they did. Nothing new- I always seem to throw people off. LOL.

They measured me, and right off the bat I had one follicle on the right that was 18. The left ovary was a little harder to find, and it was so funny b/c I swear she kept looking at a turd- and going “hmm…” then she would prod around and readjust. I know it was a terd b/c she was pressing hard, and I would feel like I was going to poop right on the table. LOL

Anyhoo- they found a second follicle on the left that measured 17. There were no other near mature ones. Some like 1 or 2 or so that would be next cycle.

My lining was “Textbook”, and I happy about that. I got my order for HCG (pregnyl) Thursday night, and then 815 saturday AM IUI. They informed me that I needed to have m y licsence the day of the procedure..uh….um…

Thank the LORD they accepted my passport. Or I would have had to drive back home to FL to get a new licsense made. Phew.

I went and visited a friend on Thursday, Thursday night The King got here, and gave me the HCG injection. That was interesting let me tell ya! I will have to get the pictures up when I get home. He is so very very careful about stuff. Took him about 20 minutes to get it all ready. The nurse in me was all “AAAHHHHH!!!!! Just mix it!” LOL. He was so excited to do it though, and he did an awesome job. No hesitation or anything.

Yesterday we chilled out. Went to the Thai Resturant that we went on our first date to. I stole an idea from Mommy To Be, and went to Build a Bear Workshop and made us a bear.

We got the black bear, b/c where my husband is from there are a lot of black bears…it was the only one he was all “AW- THIS ONE” about, and i loved them all. 🙂 We got to pick out two hearts, and just about made the lady cry that was doing it for us. I almost started crying, The King almost started crying. It was very, VERY sweet.

We headed over to my Uncle’s house and visited with him and my cousin. This is the Uncle whose wife passed away back in March. It was very good spending time with them. 

Then we came out to the Campers and chillaxed. Discovered I really like Yuenling Light, JUST in time to not be able to drink it for two weeks. Ugh.

The actual procedure was Saturday at *around* 820am. HA HA HA. Around. 🙂 It was surreal b/c there were NO people in this huge ass office building. When we went to the office- it was all dark. No check-in people- nothing. I had a moment of panic- were we in the right spot? Did I misunderstand the day? AHHH!!! Then a doctor came out and got us- after all that, it was a fellow in the RE program that did the actual IUI. She was super sweet, and did a fantastic job, so I won’t complain.

It was just The King, me and the doctor. No nurse. No people in the hallway- no people int he next room talking. Nothing. I guess that was about as intimate attempt to concieve as we can get.  The Fellow even let The King watch. Like- watch, watch. Not just “here I am pushing in the syringe…but “here is her cervix, and there is her os. The entire procedure he was holding my hand and all up in my business. LOL. How funny huh? I didn’t care, and he like being able to be part of it. My sweet husband even remarked at what a nice cervix I had. HA HA HA. Ahh, the compliments we women will take. 

The Fellow said that the sample was ‘awesome’. 15 million motile sperm, and wonderful swimmers. Much to The King’s relief, the SEALS (ha ha- get it? Troopers that swim?) didn’t look like actual semen. (oh my, how punny). The medium that the clinic put them in was actually a pinkish color- thin-ish consistency. I got to keep them warm and cozy while she set up every thing. I think I almost cracked the vial I was squeezing so hard. LOL. 🙂 As far as the rest of the numbers about motility, etc. She didn’t get into the actual numbers, and I didn’t think to clarify. Now I wish I had b/c I have to have SOMETHING to think about, and analyse…and talk about. LOL. Other than 15 million motile, awesome and wonderful swimmers. I have no clue what they were like.

The doc did tell my husband that donor sperm concieved children are very common- but no one ever knows about it b/c no one talks about it. Too true.  Not like I can say anything about it- not like we are telling everyone either. I think we are pretty open- but to a degree. Would we be this way if we were adopting? Heck no. Would I be pretending I was pregnant if we had an adoption in the works to pass it off as my own? Hell no. Why can’t I just come out and say it?

Okay, soapbox….dismount.

As far as the procedure- the worse part was the speculum. It freakin’ HURTS! The catheter they used was a 6.5 french- so it was teeeny tiny. It was a weird feeling b/c I could feel the wiggly catheter inside like a ticklish cramp. The cramp wasn’t bad, and before I knew it- OVER! She had us lay there for 10minutes, although she said it wouldn’t hurt if we got up- but it is just what they do more to give us peace of mind.

After it was all over with we to breakfast. Seriously- we were out of there by 840.

The awesome part was that we to eat at “Another Broken Egg Cafe”. Tee hee hee. How fitting is that. I was mildly crampy by that time, but nothing bad. The King was giddy, and after I whined about being crampy- he informed the waiter when he came to take our order that “She is Crampy” He informed him SO proudly, like he was anouncing that I was pregnant.

W.T.F?!?  My jaw dropped and I couldn’t stop laughing. The poor waiter was alll “Uh, sorry- I um, erm…”  HA HA HA HA. Then the good old hubs said “b/c she is so hungry”.
Crazy guy. HA HA.

We bought a couple of coffee cups- peachy/pink and a tealish blue.  Hope all this superstitious stuff doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.
The hubs thinks that I am 100% going to get pregnant on this 1st try. I am trying not to get to optimistic b/c the fall is hard. The hubs thought the UroGod was going to find sperm also…and we all know how that went.

Anyhoo. I can totally feel that I ovulated or something b/c my right ovary is seriously tender like it gets every month. I had a sharp stab at breakfast yesterday, so I really think I was ovulating then. Last night I got a really bad cramp and almost barfed a cookie I was eating- I think that might have been a delayed HCG side effect? Either that or my liver was rebelling b/c everyone was drinking BUT ME!

I feel a lot better this AM. Still crampy like I am about to start my period- but I KNOW that isn’t the case. Even if I don’t get pregnant, I am not due to start until the 31st.  So the overanalysiing of symptoms beging.

I probably just need to shit.

We are enjoying our time with the Campers and their 3 month old. Tomorrow I am going to go visit Miss Sweetness and the Monkey! I am beyond excited about that. I miss her so much.

Then I am heading home on Tuesday to obsess daily. We are actually going to New Orleans on Halloween for the Steelers v Saints game. **GO STEELERS** That is going to be RIIIIIGHT around the my testing time. They don’t do betas at my clinic- only call when results of test after missed period..or call when you have a period. So. The next day of my period is due the day of the game (I have 31 day cycle).  Do I test before the game? After? Hell- I am going to be in New Freaking Orleans!! If it is negative I am getting some Hand Grenades and burying my sorrow.  Do you all test and follow the HCG shot leaving your body?

Are you paranoid about a beer the day of the IUI? I mean it might not even be fertilized. Just curious.

I am off to root for the Steelers. Lets send the Browns to the DAWG POUND!