Block

I am having a mental block when it comes to blogging. I find things that I think about and muse about, but then I find myself censoring. I find myself thinking things that I think will be met with some eyerolls and groans.

Sometimes I swear I forget I am pregnant. I have not been having very many symptoms at all. I was so sick over Christmas, and the fatigue that I have been having is pretty much just like I got over a bad flu. I don’t feel the overwhelming fatigue, but rather I more feel like I am just really lazy. Then I find myself asleep at 4pm for an hour or so. Then I can’t sleep at night. I pee a bunch……honestly that is all. Well, and most of my jeans are now too small- but really more just in my hips, ass and belly (like apple belly, not baby bump), U tgubj U beed ti ubvest ub aq bekka babd,

uh- that was me typing on the wrong keys. LOL. “I think I need to invest in a bella band” HA HA HA.

Anyhoo- we went up to the ILs for New Years and had a blast. Kingman saw some of his friends from childhood that he hasn’t seen since he went off to Graduate school. Spent a lot of time just vegging out, and that was awesome. 🙂

We actually scored tickets to go to the Steelers Playoff game  next weekend, so we are heading back up for that. I am NOT looking forward to the cold weather. I am going to have to get some good layering going on, and pray that it doesn’t rain. I am going to be taking some cute pictures that weekend, and am going to incorporate them into my pregnancy announcement. 🙂

I have a cousin that has been trying to get pregnant for over a year, and I have been trying to call her for a few weeks to talk to her. I wanted to tell her that I am pregnant before she hears it from someone else, but she isn’t returning my phone calls. It was her Grandmother that passed away last year (my aunt), and the holidays were hard for them. I feel bad if I don’t call, then I call and no one calls me back- so why should i keep calling? These are God faring people, so it is confusing to me. I think my aunt would be sad about how this past holiday season went down- family was the most important thing to her and there were no family holidays. I wasn’t home for any of them (Out of town,and then at home sick and husband working- so I had honest excuses).

Anyhoo- I dont’ want her to find out on facebook b/c we ALL know how that is…but what else am I supposed to do?

Speaking of Facebook- UGH. I don’t give a shit if you think Being called mom was the best thing ever, or your daughter is the most beautiful thing ever, or your dog is your best friend or anything else that ALSO includes the phrase “if you agree please repost” .

I am sick of people tYpINg LiKe ThIs…and speking and spilling lak there eediots. Fo Shiz. Most of these people are in their 40s, and should be old enough TO KNOW BETTTTTTTTER. Why are they KNOWINGLY dumbing themselves up. Or down…heck i dunno- maybe it is contagious.

What else? Oh- Kingmans work is driving me nuts…but what is new.

My EX work fucked up my lab test. When I went in on Christmas Eve they did a flu test. I kept calling and the results where NEVER BACK. The next Wednesday (the 29th) there was STILL no result. I knew something was fucked up b/c I know the courier comes at 430 to take labs over to the main hospital. I KNOW the flu tests are done and resulted by 1030 the next day. They have to be b/c you have 48 hours from the onset of flu symptoms to get the meds started. So when four days later they kept giving me the “ah, it hasn’t  been resulted, let me have so and so call you…we can’t find your chart, etc. etc.” I KNEW it was bullshit. I worked there for three fucking years- I SEE THROUGH YOU. I know when you are lying to me- b/c I know how it works. I know the scripting that is used to talk to patients when something is screwed up. Damage control. Geez. I dont’ care- me of all people. I understand accidents happen- just talk to me. I know we are all human. I am probably THE BEST person to have something go wrong on. I understand. (Remember the Thursday Beta that I didn’t get until monday? Most people would be ballistic…me- I am understanding)

Anyhoo- my ex boss called today and told me that the lab tech  (that was new) used the wrong probe to get the nasal sample to test for the flu. I actually asked him that day- it seemed to big…but he said it was the right stuff. (HA, should have trusted my instincts) Anyhoo- the lab has to have a certain swab for their machines, so they didnt’ run it. I understand that. What I DON”T understand is why I wasn’t called earlier? Why did it take almost TWO WEEKS to call me and tell me? I am irritated-but if it was flu positive I wouldn’t have changed anything but had to then choose whether or not to start Tamiflu. I didn’t want to- I am more of a purist with medications and pregnancy. Especially EARLY pregnancy. On the flip side- viruses are also known to cause genetic mutations in early pregnancy….call me crazy, but I want to know what is going on in my body. When I saw the NP for my inital OB appointment 5 days later she wanted to know the result. Especially since I ran a fever for over 24 hours.

Anyhoo- I didn’t get into with my exBoss b/c I didn’t want to say “I am pregnant and was worried” I have not come out of the pregnancy closet yet, and  I know she would tell people. I was lucky enough to have one of the only people at the clinic I trust working and she triage me. She left my LMP a recent date- huge risk on her part. She then pulled the Dr. that saw me aside and told him the details. He knew I was TTC before I left- actually he knew that was why I was forced out of my job (needed the time for my appointments that they wouldn’t give me).

Anyhoo- he was COMPLETELY understanding about nosey nellies and my desire for people not to know. I just don’t know what HE put on the chart. I completely trust him to not say a word..but he is also a great doctor and I don’t know if he put on his narrative anything about me being 7weeks 5 days pregnant.

I really wonder b/c my boss wanted to know “soooo…how are you doing…….are you doing gooooood?”

I will file a HIPPA complaint if I EVER find out she told a soul. I would literally flip the shit out.

Anyways. That is my drama. My life is boring right now. 🙂